Wednesday, 15 February 2012
AFTER A DEATH
After a death we tend to feel lost – and possibly abandoned by our loved one. How dare they die and leave us behind? This is desertion of the very worst kind. The grief and sense of loss are beyond endurance.
Their physical presence has gone and yet we are left with their earthly possessions. That’s hard – incredibly hard – because every item is a reminder and another spear through our heart.
It is brought home to us with huge force that we arrive with nothing and leave with nothing. Money and the material things that we treat as important during our lifetime are of no importance whatsoever to the one who has died.
This is a sobering realisation, isn’t it? And it’s so difficult to deal with the emotions assaulting us as we gaze at the ‘effects’ of a recently deceased loved one. What’s to be done with them? What’s to become of us?
All this assumes love in the equation, of course! If there was no love, then there is presumably no problem …
I’ve shared with you in previous Blogs some of the experiences I’ve had after a death in the family. I think these illustrate quite graphically that we are not abandoned and that, although it’s natural to feel grief, our sense of loss isn’t necessarily accurate.
My strong belief, prompted from my own findings, is that our loved one is not lost to us. They certainly seem to be, initially – and, yes, we need in time to learn to live without their physical presence – but all is not as it seems. Death does not separate. It simply rearranges.
Let’s look, later, at this simplicity. For today I’d just like to state (with the utmost conviction) that after a death there is life!